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Finding the Best Care for a Loved One in a Coma 

Caregiver Humor

You might be a caregiver if:

• Your new hobby is canceling credit cards, writing letters to collection agencies and canceling numerous magazine subscriptions.

• You spend 1/3 of vacation time backtracking as you look for eyeglasses, purse, hat, gloves and sweaters.

• You place most of the bills in a folder labeled, "I will think about this tomorrow."

• Going out to eat is a Big Mac or a Whooper.

• Your hands are missing fingers because she regularly "bites the hand that feeds her."

• An outing consists of going to get the mail.

• You lobby your Congressional Rep. to have more hours added to the clock.

• Taking care of yourself means...?

• Coffee, cola, and aspirin are food groups.

• You never sort your loved ones socks because they seem to like to wear them mismatched.

• Your loved one's wardrobe consists of sweats, a bathrobe, and socks, and for informal wear....

• Your lawn has been declared a wildlife refuge.

• The pattern on the hood of your car is actually 2 year old cat paw prints.

• Your house has more cobwebs than a 1950's 'B' horror movie.

• Your friends know to call you six months in advance before they visit to give you time to clean up.

• At the mention of Social Security, you snarl, foam at the mouth and wish you had purchased that AK-47 when you could have afforded it.

• Someone mentions neurologists, and you snarl, foam at the mouth and wish you had purchased that AK-47.

• Fast food means shoveling in leftover tuna noodle surprise by the cold light of the fridge after the chores are done well past 10pm.

• When someone mentions TBI, by the time you've finished speaking they mistake you for a neurologist.

• Crying is just another task that goes on your to do list.

• You can spot your loved one having a bad day, within 15 seconds, from 50 meters, in the dark, while its raining, with your back turned.

• You often know more about how your loved one is doing than they do.

• The first place you look when your loved one has misplaced their shoes is the fridge.

• You've got the new, 24 hour, $19.99 a month unlimited Access to God Prayer Plan, and they are now telling you your limit has been reached.

• Losing track of time, the day of the week, the year and your marbles seems normal.

• Vacations are what you take just before you fall asleep.

• You can spot an uncaring physician from 20 feet even before they open their mouths.

• When you and your loved one find a caring and understanding physician you first weep uncontrollably then fall on your knees and worship.

• When you see a person on the news who has had a blow to the head, you can instantly recognize the signs of a TBI, while mouthing the newscaster's statement from the doctors, "...and the doctors say it was only a concussion and he should be as good as new..."

• Family get-togethers are when you go on-line to be with the people who understand.

• The warning bells go off in your head if your loved one doesn't say anything about their TBI during the day and you anxiously ask "What's wrong?"

Well there's another fine fine mess I've gotten myself into, and I hope you enjoy them. But seriously these posts describe no one either living or dead, really! <tongue in cheek>

In spite of it all, staying involved is still the best decision.

~Alex

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