You might be a survivor if:
(Or) Top Ten Signs that you're having trouble
- You are thankful for
the swarms of ants in your house because they make it easy to
find where you left your dinner.
- You answer the phone
by saying, "Help me, I fallen and I can't get up",
on the off chance that it may get you the medical care you need.
- You spend weeks trying
to make up a joke in which St. Peter tells a TBI that before
he can come into Heaven he has to go to Hell so he can be evaluated
by a neurologist, but it never sounds funny--
- You spent an entire
month's benefit check on life sized cardboard cutouts of your
family so you won't have to beg them to visit you anymore.
- You've decided that
real healing won't take place until you find a mint 78 of "Dancing
Lessons from Madame Zalonga".
- You want to go out
into the yard and mean to do it someday.
- You play an endless
loop of "Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Crafts",
and hope that you'll be abducted by aliens soon.
- You are delighted
to find that, with the simple addition of instant gravy mix,
it is possible to eat oatmeal for all three meals, every day.
- More than a year has
passed since your last haircut, and no one has mentioned it.
- You wear pajamas all
day, but actually sleep in your clothes.
Of course, this is all
in good fun. Just a bit of silliness. You shouldn't interpret
this agoraphobic, xenophobic picture as as a reflection of my
own life. I lead a healthy, full, as near as possibly normal life.
And I go out everyday to get oatmeal. And I change my slippers,
too. If you don't believe me, just ask the aliens.
Attorney Gordon S. Johnson, Jr.
E-mail to: waiting.com
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