Bringing back all the memories...

I didn't realize how affected I REALLY was. I cry reading some of these things as the memories flood in. Ice Blankets (the hi-tech kind), sedation to keep the blood pressure and heart rates down, eye tracking making your heart take a leap, squeezing a hand bringing such joy you cry, realizing you've learned to read the machines as well as the nurses when you point out the things going on to a friend visiting and they look at you in amazement, bringing stimuli of any kind, soft furry things for the hands, small stuffed animals, etc., music to listen to, Don't forget a healthy supply of batteries... Isoflex balls to squeeze, etc., etc., the list goes on doesn't it?

Then remembering living in the hospital...had a section of the waiting room that was "MINE"... Meeting all the NICU (Neuro Intensive Care Unit) families and feeling their pain right along with them, crying with them, hugging these new found friends. Answering those phones in the waiting room and repeating a million times how your loved one is doing, answering the phones and knowing the exact person the caller is asking for (another NICU patient family member) and being able to tell the caller exactly how THAT patient is doing if the family isn't there...

Taking showers in the maternity ward, getting in the elevator with my little bag of stuff and a wet head, people looking at me wondering, hospital cafeteria food, recommending to the new folks who come in what to eat, where to go for this or that, remembering those that had done the same for me.

Well, I've gone on long enough.... As I said, I'm flooded with all of it. Good and Bad... My heart aches at these painful memories, even though we're past it all.

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