Learning to manage stress is the most important step you need to take at this time. While your loved one is in the ICU, it is very easy to neglect your health, your job and other family responsibilities. While we understand that it is impossible to avoid stress during this time of crisis, there are ways to cope with stress. Avoiding becoming exhausted and irritable yourself may be the best way to help the patient.

Undoubtedly your life has suffered an instant upheaval. Often with brain injury we are not sure how long the crisis will last. This constant strain and worry is not healthy for you.

Signs of stress include:

• Inability to sleep,
• Nightmares,
• Poor self-care,
• Poor appetite,
• Guilt or self-blaming,
• Feelings of loneliness,
• A sense of worthlessness,
• Excessive use of alcohol and/or medications,
• Not knowing where to turn for help.

In order to manage stress, make a commitment to take care of yourself:

• Eat properly. A healthy diet will help your body deal with stress.
• Get Enough Rest. In the early days of crisis, your body will run on "nervous energy", which will eventually run out. You must take time away from the hospital to rest. Arrange to have other family members contact concerned friends and relatives so that the moments you spend away are not spent giving constant progress reports.
• Let Others Help. When someone offers to help, accept the offer. Be specific about how the person can help, either at home or in the hospital.
• Express Your Feelings. No one expects for you to go through this alone. You may find it helpful to keep a journal of your feelings. You may wish to make note of questions, things you need to do, what your concerns are. Be sure and utilize the hospital staff to answer your questions and concerns.
• Be Kind To Yourself. Many people in your situation have trouble reading or following the plot of a movie, yet you have countless hours of waiting to fill. Activities like puzzles, video games, needlework, etc. may help fill the time without requiring too much concentration. Take a break away for a walk, or lunch with a friend. Sometimes a few minutes out of the hospital can make you feel refreshed and recharged. Ask the staff about the location of courtyards, lounges and other hospital facilities that may give you a break from the ICU waiting room.
• Pace yourself. Keep in mind that brain injury recovery is a long process which will require great endurance on your part. Getting adequate rest during the trauma stage will save your resources for your part in rehabilitation. During the initial stages most of the patient's needs are being met by the medical team, later on the family takes a larger role.